Robert E. Lee is Benedict Arnold with a beard, better clothes, a less obnoxious name, and more statues.
Aphorism No. 219
People who claim they are apolitical say that because it sounds better than admitting what they are.
Aphorism No. 218
Cosmetic surgeons might be the only doctors who want their spouses to use their services.
Aphorism No. 217
If you turn on the oven, bake more than just one cookie.
Aphorism No. 216
At some point, everyone is the little spoon.
Aphorism No. 215
A companion is someone you spend time with. A friend is someone you want to spend time with but don’t need to.
Aphorism No. 214
The faster you drive, the more butterflies die on your windshield.
Aphorism No. 213
Practice.
Aphorism No. 212
It’s hard to say the word “teeth” without teeth.
Aphorism No. 211
Love should not feel like agony.