Writing

Hard men are like onions: The more you peel away their outer layers, the likelier they are to make you cry.

Thousands of years from now, dogs will still be humanity’s best friend, especially after our robots have betrayed us.

There’s nothing sweeter than still being asleep at seven o’clock in the morning on a weekday.

If you’re a man, never ask a woman how much she weighs. She’ll assume you’re judging her. If you’re a woman, never tell a man how much you weigh. He’ll assume you’re lying. In either instance, you’ll probably be right.

Recalling facts and figures is like reading. Remembering experiences and emotions is like dreaming.

Comfort is confinement.

Knowledge is but one room in the mansion of understanding.

Nothing in the universe cannot be improved with the addition of a fine cigar and neat whiskey, especially cancer.

Cemeteries are more for the living than the dead.

Not procreating might be the best way for you to contribute to humanity’s future.