It’s Thanksgiving, which means it’s pie-eatin’ SZN, but let’s be honest: I don’t need an excuse to enjoy a healthy serving of the greatest dessert ever served.
If I want pie on any random Thursday, I’ll have it. If that day happens to be Thanksgiving, all the better. More pie.
A couple of years ago, I created official Thanksgiving pie power rankings. I figure it’s time to update my list.
From worst to first, here’s how I’m ranking the 25 most commonly served pies in America (i.e., the first 25 that popped into my brain).
No. 25: Mincemeat Pie
Not now, not ever. But if you must eat the real-life equivalent of Rachel’s trifle, replace the meat with chewy fruits like apples or raisins.
No. 24: Bean Pie
What? Why?
No. 23: Custard Pie
Custard is bad enough on its own.
No. 22: Orange Pie
Fantastic, except for the oranges.
No. 21: Rhubarb Pie
No. 20: Strawberry Pie
No. 19: Strawberry-Rhubarb Pie
These can be listed in any order.
No. 18: Banana Cream Pie
No. 17: Coconut Cream Pie
No. 16: Lemon Meringue Pie
Good for cleansing the palate between servings of heartier pies.
No. 15: Grasshopper Pie
Looks sort of like key lime pie, but isn’t.
No. 14: Chocolate Cream Pie
Solid.
No. 13: Turtle Pie
No. 12: French Silk Pie
No. 11: Dulce de Leche Ice Cream Pie
These all seem sort of the same. They’re not triplets, but maybe they’re siblings?
No. 10: Any Berry Pie That Isn’t Blueberry or Strawberry Pie
Pie country …
From a top-20 Seinfeld episode.
No. 9: Blueberry Pie
Great with strawberry ice cream and whipped cream for the Fourth of July and every other day of the year.
No. 8: Peanut Butter Pie
Best if consumed with milk.
No. 7: Peach Pie
My go-to dessert in high school.
No. 6: Pear Pie
If your mother-in-law makes it, you have to put it in the top 10, no?
No. 5: Apple Pie
There are so many varieties of apple pie, and they’re all good.
No. 4: Key Lime Pie
My other go-to dessert in high school.
No. 3: Pecan Pie
Not the kind you buy at the store. Made at home with pecans from Texas, bourbon from Kentucky, and a recipe from Louisiana.
No. 2: Cherry Pie
Worst music video ever, but a helluva treat.
Best with vanilla ice cream.
No. 1: Pumpkin Pie & Sweet Potato Pie
Is there a difference between pumpkin pie and sweet potato pie? Yes. Can I taste the difference? Barely. Does that slight difference matter to me? Not at all.
Pie is pie.
Honorable Mention: Pizza
Not a pie, but sort of a pie.